At the small tables
which were arranged about the room some thirty customers were drinking English
beer, porter, gin and brandy; smoking, the while, long red clay pipes stuffed
with little balls of
opium mingled with essence of rose.... They ordered two
bottles of
port, to which the Frenchman did ample justice, whilst fix
observed
him with close attention.
~ by Jules Verne
Teaching has ruined
more American novelists than drink.
~ Gore Vidal
Don't you know there
ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk.
~ Tom Waits
I'd rather have a
bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
~ Tom Waits
The problem with some
people is that when they
aren't drunk, they're sober.
~ William Butler
Yeats
I have certainly
known more men destroyed by the desire to
have a wife and child and to keep
them in comfort than I
have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.
~ William Butler
Yeats
When I read about the
evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
~ Henny Youngman
Time is never wasted
when you're wasted all the time.
~ Catherine Zandonella
Sobriety diminishes,
discriminates, and says no; drunkenness expands, unites, and says yes. Not
through mere perversity
do men run after it.
~ William James
Claret is the liquor
for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.
~ Samuel Johnson
Melancholy, indeed,
should be diverted by every means but drinking.
~ Samuel Johnson
There is nothing
which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as
by a good tavern or inn.
~ Samuel Johnson
I'm like old wine.
They don't bring me out very often,
but I'm well preserved.
~ Rose Kennedy
When I drank, the
part that felt dangerous and needy grew bright
and strong and real. The part
that coveted love kicked into gear.
The yes grew louder than the no.
~ Caroline Knapp
Neither drink [coffee
or tea] was known in Frankish lands, but seated in the coffeehouses, I drank of
each at various times, twirling my mousteache and listening with attention to
that headier draught,
the wine of the intellect, that sweet and bitter juice distilled
from
the vine of thought and the tree of man's experience.
~ Louis L'Amour
I envy people who
drink. At least they have
something to blame everything on.
~ Oscar Levant
I went on a diet,
swore off drinking and heavy eating,
and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
~ Joe E Lewis
Be wary of strong
drink. It can make you shoot
at tax collectors and miss.
~ Lazarus Long
Accordingly if the
devil should say, 'Do not drink,' you should reply to him, 'On this very
account, because you forbid it, I shall drink, and what is more, I shall drink
a generous amount. Thus one must always do the opposite of that which Satan
prohibits. What do you think is
my reason for drinking wine undiluted, talking
freely, and eating
more often, if it is not to torment and vex the devil who
made up
his mind to torment and vex me.
~ Martin Luther King
Human reason is like
a drunken man on horseback;
set it up on one side, and it tumbles over on the
other.
~ Martin Luther King
Long quaffing maketh
a short lyfe.
~ John Lyly
If die I must, let me
die drinking in an Inn.
~ Walter Map
You're not drunk if
you can lie on the floor without holding on.
~ Dean Martin
If you drink, don't
drive. Don't even putt.
~ Dean Martin
Love makes the world
go round? Not at all.
Whisky makes it go round twice as fast.
~ Compton Mackenzie
No man is genuinely
happy, married, who has to drink worse whiskey than he used to drink when he
was single.
~ H.L. Mencken
There are some people
who read too much: The bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on
books, as others are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this
most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing
nothing.
~ H. L. Mencken
Going to the opera,
like getting drunk, is a sin
that carries its own punishment with it.
~ Hannah More
'I drink because she
nags.' he said. 'I nag because he drinks'.
But if the truth be known to you,
He's a lush and she's a shrew.
~ Ogden
Nash
I drink to make other
people interesting.
~ George Jean Nathan
Two great European
narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.
~ Nietzsche
The fact that a
believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact than a
drunken man is happier than a sober one.
~ George Bernard Shaw
Alcohol is a very
necessary article.....it enables Parliament to do things at eleven that no sane
person would do at eleven in the morning.
~ George Bernard Shaw
Busy, curious,
thirsty fly;Drink with me, and drink as I.
~ William Oldys
When will I learn?
The answer to life's problems aren't at
the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
~ Homer Simpson
Son, when you
participate in sporting events, it's not whether
you win or lose... it's how
drunk you get.
~ Homer Simpson
It reminded him of
his Uncle Seamus, the notorious and poetic drunk, who would sit down at the
breakfast table the morning after a bender, drain a bottle of stout and say
'Ah, the chill of consciousness returns.'
~ Molly O'Neill
Anyway, no drug, not
even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the
source of our troubles, we shouldn't
test people for drugs, we should test them
for stupidity,
ignorance, greed and love of power.
~ P.J. O'Rourke
Giving money and
power to the government is like
giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
~ P J O'Rourke
One more drink and
I'd be under the host.
~ Dorothy Parker
Drink and dance and
laugh and lie;
Love, the reeling midnight through;
For tomorrow we shall
die!
(But, alas, we never
do.)
~ Dorothy Parker
All excess is ill,
but drunkenness is of the worst sort. It spoils health, dismounts the mind, and
unmans men. It reveals secrets, is quarrelsome, lascivious, impudent, dangerous
and bad.
~ William Penn
Filled with mingled
cream and amber;
I will drain that
glass again;
Such hilarious
visions clamber;
Through the chamber
of my brain;
Quaintest thoughts,
queerest fancies;
Come to life and fade
away.
What care I how time
advances?
I am drinking ale
today.
~ Edgar Allan Poe
I drink no more than
a sponge.
~ Francis Rabelais
There are three
things that are not to be credited: a woman when she weeps, a merchant when he
swears, nor a drunkard when he prays.
~ Barnaby Rich
I'm a simple man. All
I want is enough sleep for two normal men, enough whiskey for three, and enough
women for four.
~ Joel Rosenberg
Drunkenness is
temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary
cessation of unhappiness.
~ Bertrand Russell
There is no
difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who
drinks too much and sees snakes.
~ Bertrand Russell
I have very poor and
unhappy brains for drinking.
~
William Shakespeare
Here 's to the maiden
of bashful fifteen;
Here 's to the widow
of fifty;
Here 's to the
flaunting, extravagant queen,
And here 's to the
housewife that 's thrifty!
Let the toast pass;
Drink to the lass;
I 'll warrant she 'll
prove an excuse for the glass.
~ Richard Brinsley
Sheridan
C'mon, Moe. It's been
St. Patrick's day for hours
now and I'm not drunk yet!
~ Homer Simpson
Prohibition? HA! They
tried that in the movies and it didn't work.
~ Homer Simpson
If on my theme I
rightly think;
There are five
reasons why men drink;
Good wine, a friend,
because I 'm dry;
Or lest I should be
by and by,
Or any other reason
why.
~ John Sirmond
We are in such a
slump that even the ones that aren't
drinkin' aren't hittin'.
~ Casey Stengel
If you mean whiskey,
the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the
bloody monster that defiles
innocence, dethrones reason, destroys
the home, creates misery and poverty,
yea, literally takes the
bread from the mouths of little children; if you mean
that evil
drink that topples Christian men and women from the pinnacles
of
righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pits of degradation, shame,
despair, helplessness, and hopelessness,
then, my friend, I am opposed to it
with every fiber of my being.
However, if by whiskey you mean the oil of conversation, the
philosophic wine, the elixir of life, the ale that is consumed when
good
fellows get together, that puts a song in their hearts and the warm glow of
contentment in their eyes; if you mean Christmas cheer, the stimulating sip
that puts a little spring in the step of an elderly gentleman on a frosty
morning; if you mean that drink that enables man to magnify his joy, and to
forget life's great tragedies and heartbreaks and sorrow; if you mean that
drink the sale of which pours into our treasuries untold millions of dollars
each year, that provides tender care for our little crippled children, our
blind, our deaf, our dumb, our pitifully aged and infirm, to build the finest highways,
hospitals, universities, and community colleges in this nation, then
my friend,
I am absolutely, unequivocally in favor of it. This is
my position, and as always, I refuse to be compromised on
matters of
principle.
~ Noah S. Soggy
Sweat, Jr, 1952 Whiskey Speech
