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U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....OOPS..I got wrong number...SORRY
Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Darling, I'm new in this town - dya think I could have directions to your house.
I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away!
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?
Have a nice day. . . somewhere else.
Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving
What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar? Ok u 2, don't start anything.
Am I getting smart with you? ....How would you know?
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
Exceptions always outnumber rules.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time - I think I've forgotten this before.
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a
hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times.
Constipated people don't give a crap.
I may not be perfect, but I'm all I got.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents,
and the second half by our children.
Y did the jelly baby go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.
What u call dog with no legs? Don't matter wot u call him,
he ain't gonna come.
Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'
All computers wait at the same speed.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
HELP: Cops are after a suspect who's smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
How come night falls but day breaks?
How do I set the laser printer to stun?
Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly ... well enough about ME! How are you?
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that
I can get 100 tampons for free ... No Strings attached...but for a limited period ONLY!...A bloody good deal!
Money is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. I lost my money when I text you, but it's okay because I still got you.
Don't be too good, i might miss you. don't be too caring, i might like you. don't be too sweet, i might fall. it's hard for me to love you
when you won't love me after all.
1st time i saw u i was scared 2 touch u, 1st time i touched u i was scared 2 kiss u, 1st time i kiss u i was scared to luv u,
but now dat i luv u im scared 2 lose u!
Never rush in love for it never runs out. Let love b d one to knock at your door, so by d time u start to fall, u know that your feeling is for sure.
What is love? Those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. Those who understand it call it destiny. And me, I call it You.
If only those who knock at d door of my heart will become someone like u, I'll never have a second thought to open it and say
"Come in and you are welcome to stay".
I thank God I'm rich not with money but with people like u. I may not have the most expensive things but I've got the most precious gem…a friend like u.
If luv s a disease den im very ill, but i dont want medicine, i wont take no pill, i will suffer dis illness coz it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!
I prayed for a red bike, God gave me blue. I lost my old cap, He
gave me new. I asked for a friend who will always be true.
I prayed and prayed, till came you.
If u open my heart, guess what you are gonna see? It's you.
True friends are hard to find so I kept you.
There are Tulips in my garden, there are Tulips in the park,
but nothing is more be beautiful than our two lips meeting in the dark!
I believe that God above, created u for me to luv, He picked you
out from all the rest, coz he knew id luv you the best!
If ur askin if id hurt u,da ansa is neva.if ur askin if i luv u,da
ansa is 4eva.if ur askin if i want u,da ansa is i do.if ur askin
wot i value most,da ansa is u.
Don't shed tears for someone who hurts u. Don't feel sorry if u fail when u do your best. U should not be stupid to fall in love for someone who's stupid enough to fall for someone as special as u.
True luv is hard 2 find, special 1, 1 of a kind, but the luv inside of me is true, it appeared d day i met you!
An angel asked me a reason why I care for u so much. I told her I care for u some much coz…There's no reason not to.
There are 3 steps to happy happiness, 1 you, 2 me, 3 our hearts 4 eternity!
Each friend represents a world in us. A world possibly not born until they arrive. Thanks for making my world complete.
Y do i txt u? its my choice. its my way of sayng i rmmber u. y do i rmmber u? its my choice. it proves dat i care. y do i care? dnt knw,
its not my choice but my heart's.
I admit I'll never be the perfect friend. I'll never be there always. I may not make u smile at times but there is one thing I admit I could do.
To be the person I could be for you.
If i were a tear in ur eye, i wood roll down onto ur lips, But if u were a tear in my eye,i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!
Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches u until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong.
If had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U".
U say u luv me & want 2 hold me tight, those words run thru my head all nite, i dreamt u held me n made me see, dat 4ever 2gether we wud be!
1000 words 1 cud say, 1000 wishes 1 cud pray, 1000 miles legs
cud walk, 1000 sounds a mouth cud talk, 1000 times ill b true,
1000 ways 2 say i luv u!
If kisses were water, I'd give you d ocean. If hugs were leaves, Id give u a forest. If love were space, Id give u a galaxy, If friendship were life, Id give u mine for free.
Ive got ur bak n uve got mine, ill help u out anytime, 2 see u hurt, 2 see u cry, makes me weep n wanna die, ill b right here, til d end,
coz ur my luv & my bestfriend.
You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry
the person who you cannot live without.
What if i said "i like you", would you text back and say it's ok? what if i tell you "i miss you", would you go back and say you'll stay? how
about if i confess that "i love you" would you ever text back?
There are 12 months in a year. 30 days in a month...7 days a week...24 hours in a day...60 minutes in an hour...but only ONE like u in a life time.
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