If we are what we eat, Then I’m cheap, I'm easy & I'm fast.
Stop repeat offenders don’t re-elect them!
Don’t tell me the sky is the limit, when there are Footprints on the moon.
Life is a game, if you are not careful you will lose it.
Live life like there is no tomorrow!
Adults are kids with money.
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
Be nice to your kids ‘cause they get to pick your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count, and those who can’t.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
I am not a My wife works for me.
Life is like a lottery ticket, You gotta be in it, to win it.
I am not unemployed I am a consultant.
I’m out of bed and dressed what more do you want?
Don’t Start With Me, You Know How I Get.
A good day is, when 
hits the fan and I have time to duck.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
Humpty Dumpty didn’t fall... He was pushed.
Life is like a 
transmitted disease.
All you need is a sick mind & a healthy body.
Every time I find the meaning of life, someone changes it.
Oh sure, we all know the speed of Light, But does Dark have a speed?
Don’t miss out on today worrying about tomorrow.
I think, therefore, we have absolutely, nothing in common.
With all my life saga's I could start my own soap opera.
Computers help us to do stupid things much quicker.
If you always take time to stop and smell the roses. sooner or later, you'll get stung by a bee.
My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her, or something like that.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
& calculus don’t mix & never drink and derive.
If beauty was a crime you would never go to jail.
