Believe it or not! The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.

 

The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

 

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

 

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

 

I wished the buck did stop here, because I certainly could use a few more.

 

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will not be understood, and then used against you.

 

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

 

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost & blamed it on the cost of living.

 

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?  

 

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, there would always be one fool trying to pass them.

I started out with nothing, spent a little but I still have most of it.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.  

 

Before deciding to borrow money from a friend, always decide which you need more. The friend or the money!

 

Annoy your enemy & forgive them.

Don't ever try to beat a liar; they will beat you with experience.

 

On the other hand you have fingers too.

 

Where there's a will, relatives come out of the woodwork.

 

Alcohol is not an answer; it just makes you forget the question.

 

I miss you so much but my aim is getting much better.

 

Pushing your luck is better than getting no exercise at all.

Experience is the thing you get just after you fall.

 

Man was given a sense of humor to compensate for nature's law of gravity.

 

If procrastination were earned money, I would be very rich.

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyes.

 

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't ever expect is back.

 

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up better radio stations.

 

I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit & look at it for hours on end.

 

If you can't see the bright side of life, then get to shining up the dull side.

 

We all have a photographic memory. Yours is just missing the memory card.

 

A day without sunshine is like, well, night time of course.

 

Change is the inevitable outcome except from a broken vending machine.

 

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

 

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?