Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.
Canis meus it comedit. My dog ate it.
Carpenter’s rule: cut to fit; beat into place.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Chaos, panic, pandemonium – my work here is done.
Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think
you are.
Chicago law prohibits eating in a place that is on fire.
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the
dark make children.
Clones are people two.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
And just how may I screw you over today?
And your crybaby whiney-assed opinion would be...?
I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for 30
years.
So many fools, so few comets.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice Doggie!”, until
you can find a rock.
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop
helping me.
Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you.
Help wanted: Psychic. You know where to apply.
There are two great secrets to success in life. The first is
to not tell everything you know.
It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.
Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the
value of nothing.
We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust our sails.
You wouldn't worry so much about what others thing of you if
you knew how seldom they did.
Friends may come and friends may go, but enemies accumulate.
Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. I think that I think,
therefore I think that I am.
Come to the dark side – we have cookies.
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
Crime doesn’t pay… does that mean my job is a crime?
Criminal Lawyer, is a redundant phrase.
Just say NO to one-word solutions.
Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes!
If we are what we eat, I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
If you think being meek is weak, try being meek for a week.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Cult: It just means not enough people to make a minority.
Dawn is nature’s way of telling you to go to bed.
Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.
Do not attribute to malice what can as easily be attributed
to stupidity.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t
be promoted.
Don’t be sexist. Broads hate that.
Don’t believe everything you think.
