Quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
We all can’t be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and
clap as they go by.
Welcome what you can’t avoid.
Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do make a
right.
Break a habit. Drop it.
Beauty Parlor: a place where women curl up and dye.
Cannibal: someone who is fed up with people.
Dyslexics Untie!
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
We found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all along.
Welcome to Hell. Here’s your copy of Windows ME.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Cleverly disguised as, a responsible adult.
Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.
Remember you're unique, just like everybody else.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Don't use a big word when a diminutive one will suffice.
Hukt on fonix werkt fer me.
You are only truly in control of your life when you accept
you are not.
You can do more with a kind word and a gun than with just a
kind word.
Regarding apathy, I have no opinion.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
When I was young I was told that anyone could be president.
Now I’m beginning to believe it.
When someone points skyward, it’s the fool that looks at the
finger.
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties
today of its strength.
When all else fails, admit I’m right and kiss my ass.
When blondes have more fun, do they know it?
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.
You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a
four-year-old.
You’re driving a car. It isn’t a telephone booth, a beauty
parlor or a restaurant.
You’re just jealous because the little voices only talk to
me.
When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
Work harder: millions on welfare depend on you.
When you have nothing to say!. Best to say nothing.
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding
on.
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared
with.
I bet you I could stop gambling.
I think I'm agnostic, but I haven't decided
I can't get enough minimalism.
I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative
Do ten millipedes equal one centipede?
A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive
twice.
You don’t have to explain something you never said.
Worry is a misuse of the imagination.
Worry is like a rocking chair; it keeps you busy, but gets
you nowhere.
