Limericks P4

There once was a poet named Chuck,
who couldn't even rhyme the word duck.
Despite all his crying,
and hours of trying,
He threw up his arms and yelled chucks!

 

 

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.

 

A senora who strolled on the Corso,
Displayed quite a lot of her torso,
A crowd soon collected,
And no one objected,
Though some were in favor of more so.

 

 

 

 

Limericks alone make me wary
discussing often gets hairy
so utterly cheesy
I get so uneasy
I'm thinking of giving up dairy

 

 

There once was a boy from Montreal
Who loved to play basketball
For a team he tried out
But if he made it, I doubt
For you see, he was three feet tall!

 

 

there once was a man from mars
who had a knack for selling used cars
he said take this one
and you'll have lots of fun
except for the trunk full of tar

 

 

 

 

Honesty is something I find
that never gave me piece of mind
The harder I try
It seems the more that I lie
And they are catching up from behind

 

 

I went shopping for a new pair of clogs
that were made from the skin of 5 frogs
when I tried to slip them on
It appeared they were gone
and I found them on someone who jogs

 

 

There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
that when she assayed
to drink lemonade,
she slipped through the straw and fell in!

 

 

 

 

There once was a chick from 408
She met a guy who asked her for a date.
They wined and they dined,
having a wonderful time,
hoping their new friendship would never abate

 

 

It's hard to suppress Iron Mike's
Obsession to bite what he likes
So if he's seen nuthin' grander
Than the ears of Evander
Then Mike bites if he likes? Yikes!

 

 

There was a wee lad from a cold clime
who said "No worries, mate, my driving's sublime!"
But a dent he did make
when he failed to brake
and now insists speaking in rhyme.

 

 

To a far away planet named Mars
The navy sent six jolly tars
And an Admiral
too as part of the crew
To serve up the grog at the bars.

 

 

There once was a family named Stein
There was Gert, there was Ep, there was Ein.
Gert's poems are bunk
Ep's statues are junk
And no one can understand Ein.

 

 

There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

 

 

There was a wee lad from a cold clime
who said "No worries, mate, my driving's sublime!"
But a dent he did make
when he failed to brake
and now insists speaking in rhyme.

 

 

 

 

There once was a family named Stein
There was Gert, there was Ep, there was Ein.
Gert's poems are bunk
Ep's statues are junk
And no one can understand Ein.

 

 

There was a young man from Cape Cod
Who's occupation was odd
He caught fish all day
Without any pay

 

 

there was a bold boy called Barry
who was always as happy as Larry
one day as a joke
he decided to poke
a hedgehog and boy! was he sorry!

There was a young Sheila from Down Under
Who would ne'er commit social blunder
One day at repast
A bloke nearby gas passed
So she simply remarked "Was that thunder?"

 

 

 

 

You'll never guess, said prim & proper Aunt Harriet
What we saw a rodeo cowboy do with his lariat
Tricks to make the crowd hush
And myself I did blush
But you know, if I could, I would marry it!

 

 

A wonderful bird is the Pelican.
His beak can hold more than his belly can.
He can hold in his beak
Enough food for a week!
But I'll be darned if I know how the hellican?

I think the limericks are fun
and when I have read the last one
I'll wipe away tears
from my eyes and my beard
and go back to where I'd begun.

 

 

There once was a funny old whale
who had a magnificent tail
A seaport moved out
when the whale came about
and attempted to swim in a pail.

Home   1  2  3  4  5   Next