One-Liners P1
Statistics are as worthless as estimates .
7/5th of all people do not understand fractions.
99% of lawyers are giving the rest a bad name.
A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.
A bad plan is better than no plan at all.
A city is a large community where people are all lonely together.
Screaming at something wont make it do it by
itself.
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into
theorems.
My car is a status symbol. The symbol of me being poor!
A person is as big as the things that make them
angry.
I have PMS and a hand gun, any questions?
A pooch should not assume the patio door is open when he race
outside to chase leaves.
If everything seems to be going right, you obviously don’t
know what the hell is going on.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.
If god is inside us, then I hope he likes Fajita’s, cause
that’s what he’s getting.
A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
Wife and dog missing. Reward for dog.
A philosopher always knows what to do until it happens to
him.
If at first you don’t succeed, try a shorter bungee.
If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don’t deaf people wear
earmuffs?
Marriage is the main cause of divorce.
Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
I got a gun for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
My wife ran off with my best friend. Boy, I'll miss him.
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one
works.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains
because the average man can see better than he can think.
My wife says I never listen to her....or something like
that..
To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.
My husband said if I don't quit shopping so much he'll
leave. Lord, I'll miss that man.
Unicorns aren't mythical. Virgins are.
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to
interrupt her.
When a blond has more fun, do they know it?
Where's there's smoke, sometimes there's dinner.
Few women admit their age. Fewer men ever act it.
My wife's other car is a broomstick.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case it was almost
impossible.
A woman is like a teabag: you never know how strong she is
until she gets in hot water.
Money can't buy love but it can buy you the imitation version.
If love is blind, why does lingerie continue to stay popular.
Chastity is curable, if detected early.
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
My wife and I married for better or worse. She couldn't do
better. I couldn't do worse.
The more I learn about women the more I love my Motorbike.
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