Funny Quotes P4

Fun Quotes Sayings P4

  • I don’t approve of political jokes – I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

  • Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

  • If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

  • The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

  • I live in my own little world, but its okay they know me here.

  • I don’t do drugs anymore ‘cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.

  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?

  • When I’m feeling down and someone tells me to “suck it up” I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and then say, “walk it off!”

very funny quotes and sayings to make you laugh

  • Love is like a butterfly you have to let it go and if it’s really meant to be it will come back to you!

  • Funny Birthday Wishes Poems

  • Funny Birthday  Wishes

  • Funny Birthday Cards

  • Funny Picture Quotes

  • Before you get the best, you have to have the worst.

  • If the teacher is way better than the one he teaches, he’s nothing but a failure.

  • Love is a tag of war it can never be fair for sure one is the winner & of course other one is the loser.

  • Many things upset my stomach but chicken is not one of them.

  • Buy one dog, get one flea.

  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

  • Clear the Road I AM SIXTEEN.

  • He Who Hesitates, Is Not Only Lost, But Miles from the Next Exit.

  • I got this motor home for my wife, Best deal I ever made.

  • I SWERVE to HIT People at Random!

  • I wouldn’t laugh .. your daughter may be inside.

  • Don’t follow me, I’m lost.

  • Talk is Cheap – until you hire a lawyer.

  • Everyday I beat my own record for number of days I’ve stayed alive.

  • Two peanuts were walking down the street, when one was a-salted.

  • How come we choose from just two people to run for president & 50 for Miss America?

  • Is a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

  • Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?

  • The next time you feel like complaining about what you don’t have, remember, your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the worlds people.

  • The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

  • I love being married, It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  • Shopping tip, You can get shoes for 85c at the bowling alley.

  • I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, & therefore I am perfect.

  • A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.

  • Cover me I’m changing lanes.

  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.

  • Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

  • You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.

  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

  • You’re Just Jealous Because the Voices are Talking to Me.

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