Funny Quotes Sayings P3
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Excuse me for interrupting and I’m not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country if you’re packing that much .
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You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everyone we did anyway!
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I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did.
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It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
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Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
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If I followed you home, would you keep me?
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You look like my second wife! And I’ve only been married once!
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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
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Funny Birthday Wishes Poems
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Funny Birthday Wishes
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Funny Birthday Cards
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Funny Picture Quotes
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Do you believe in love at first site, or should I walk past you again?
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Excuse me can I borrow a quarter, Mom told me to give her a call the first time I fell in love.
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Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
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I got a sweater for Christmas. I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
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If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
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Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery.
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If the entire world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been.”
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I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it I said, Implants?
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
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Is a pig disgruntled?
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Nice guys finish last and bring you breakfast in bed.
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Are you into casual sex or should I dress up?
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You’ll need to know my name you’ll be screaming it later.
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I lost my virginity but I still have the box it came in.
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Why hemorrhoids are called “hemorrhoids” instead of “asteroids”?
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Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
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If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole aeroplane made out of the stuff?
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Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
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Don’t sweat the petty things & don’t pet the sweaty things.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because, he knows where all the bad girls live.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
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Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your.
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And, whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?
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Damn Girl, I’m so glad I’m not blind.
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I lost my number, can I have yours?
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But what if I’m a figment of my OWN imagination?
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If God hadn’t wanted me to be paranoid, He wouldn’t have given me such a vivid imagination.
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Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life.
Drama is imagination limited by logic. Mathematics is logic limited by imagination.