Great collection of Funny Birthday Wishes Poems to Write in a Funny Birthday Card for that special friend or family member who enjoys humor. Funny Birthday Quotes, Funny Quotes For Birthdays, Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages, Birthday Wishes Quotes, Funny Birthday Messages, Funny Birthday Sayings, Funny Inspirational Birthday Quotes, Funny Poem Birthday Card
If I were the cake for your birthday
and you were a white plastic spoon ..
If I were the wrap on your gift box
chances are, our paths would cross soon.
If Ι was the rich chocolate frosting
that tasted so good on your tongue ..
Then chances are good that we’d be very
close, both feeling quite luscious and young.
But I’m not your favorite icing
or frosting, or spoon, that is true ..
But you are my favorite person
who’s spending your birthday with you.
By Denise Rodgers
Don’t fret because
you’re one year older ..
But if you need
a caring shoulder.
Mine’s right here
so have a cry ..
Although I can’t
You’re aging gracefully
you know ..
And getting wiser
as you go.
I hope your Birthday is as AMAZING as I AM. Happy Birthday
First you forget NAMES – Then you forget FACES – Then you forget to pull your ZIPPER UP – Then you forget to PULL your ZIPPER DOWN. Happy Birthday
My brain is fit, my body slim
my eyes have soulful glow ..
I can do my every whim
I am powerful, you know.
I am truly, at my prime
and plan to stay this way ..
No matter how many birthdays, I’m
going to have, my strength will stay.
I am special, will never get weak
myself, I strive to amaze ..
I will always be at my peak
throughout, all of my days.
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
They tell you that you’ll lose your mind, when you grow older – What they don’t tell you, is that you WON’T MISS IT very much.
I like my bifocals my dentures fit me fine – My hearing aid is perfect but Lord, I miss my mind!
Wisdom comes with age! – But we don’t see any sign of aging in you. So no need to worry! Celebrate your birthday like a child! No WINE! No SEX!! JUST CAKE! Happy Birthday!
The thing I LOVE about YOUR Birthday, is It always reminds me that I’m YOUNGER than YOU!
STAND BACK! I think we are going to need a LOT of CANDLES for this one. Happy Birthday
Another candle on your cake?
well, that’s no cause to pout.
Be glad that you have strength enough
to blow the damn thing out.
Gray hair is a glorious crown – Won by a righteous life. Happy Birthday
If things get better with age then you are approaching MAGNIFICENT.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The CLOSER it gets to the END, the FASTER it goes.
You should really celebrate on your birthday – Take TWO NAPS today. Happy Birthday
You’re so old, that I decided to keep the receipt for your present, just in case you didn’t make it! Happy Birthday
I thought I’d get you a card with BIG LETTERS so you can READ it.
Warning – I think your postman is stealing all the money I keep putting in your birthday cards. Happy Birthday
You finally got your head together – And now your body is falling apart.
Happy Center Of Attention Day – Don’t get too used to it!
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. Happy Birthday
Information: The envelope you just opened was licked shut by a dog. (Who had previously been vigorously going at his balls.)
In fact, I wanted to send you something special, extraordinary exceptional and beautiful for your birthday – BUT I didn’t know how to fit MYSELF into the ENVELOPE! Happy Birthday!
Growing old is mandatory – Growing up is optional.
I realize that getting old can seem intimidating at first But what’s it like now? Happy Birthday
The polar caps are melting
prevention measures, we must take ..
So please don’t think of lighting
all those candles on your cake.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you ..
I can’t write poetry, so
Unicorn, Bread, Kazoo!
Did you know? That as a man gets OLDER, he does not LOSE his HAIR? It just RE-LOCATES! Happy Birthday!
Warning – Birthday Candles Time! (I called the fire brigade and they are on standby.)
To my Friend – I owe you a Birthday Present. I’m very sorry, but I had too much month left, at the end of the money. Thanks
Birthdays are good for you! The more you have – The longer you live.
Another birthday has arrived
Happy birthday, we all shout.
The cake is a mass of candles
a milestone year, without doubt.
Just be sure, you wish for strength
to blow, all those candles out.
Look on the bright side! You’ll be even OLDER next year. Wishing you many more candles and a great big cake to fit them all on.
It’s only natural to become quieter as we grow older – It’s not easy to talk and hold in your stomach at the same time!
Happy Birthday – Do you know why women our age drive so fast? Because we have to get there before we forget where we’re going!
Here is how you know if your mission on earth is finished – If you’re still alive, it isn’t.
Don’t do anything embarrassing on your birthday this year. You don’t have as much time to live it down, as you used to.
Congratulations! You have now reached the age when involuntary farts, are a distinct possibility.
Why is birthday cake so good?
I love it oh so much! ..
It’s good to eat, but even more
I think it’s nice to touch!
It’s squashy pink and sticky white
and stuffed with special goo ..
With candy roses on the top
one time my piece had two!
I like to blow the candles out
I like to make the wish ..
But more than all, I like to lick
the frosting off the dish.
Now sundaes are quite wonderful.
banana splits are fine ..
But birthday cake is something else
especially, when it’s mine!
Happy Birthday – And remember! It’s MY birthday soon (JUST SAYIN)
Apparently – There are so many candles on your Birthday Cake, that it can be seen from outer space!
Last year, twenty candles
that doesn’t sound a lot ..
But that was not the whole cake
just, on the slice I got.
The museum called – They want their prehistoric relic back! Happy Birthday B.T.W
The worst part about lying about your age is when everybody believes you – And you suddenly realize that you could have gone even lower!
I once read about a lady who would make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I never knew that was possible.
To have leftover wine – I mean. Cheers to you on your birthday
Men are just like chocolates
us girls know, that is true ..
Found in bars, they don’t last long
just enough, to satisfy you.
And on that thought.
You know you’re getting old when An ALL NIGHTER means: Not getting up to pee! When you and your teeth – Don’t sleep together anymore. When your mind not only wanders – Sometimes leaving completely. When all the names in your black book – Now have M.D. after them. When getting a little action means – You didn’t need any fiber today. When getting lucky means – You find your car in the parking lot. When the candles cost more than the cake.AND Your BACK goes OUT more than YOU!
Each birthday wish
I’ve ever made
Really does come true ..
Each year I wish
I’ll grow some more
and every year, I DO!
I have everything I had twenty years ago – Only it’s all a little bit lower.
You have REACHED the AGE where all COMPLIMENTS will be followed by “FOR YOUR AGE.”
This Birthday Card won’t joke about GREY HAIR OLD AGE and SAGGY BITS – It’s just to celebrate when you were born – A LONG, LONG TIME AGO. Happy birthday
The BEST way to REMEMBER your WIFE’S BIRTHDAY is to FORGET it ONCE.
Did you know that BIRTHDAY CAKE is GOOD for YOU?? SORRY, only kidding. Just wanted to give you a few moments of HAPPINESS on your BIRTHDAY!
We’re NOT getting OLD we’re getting awe-some and I’m not afraid to admit that you’re more ‘awesome’ than me. Happy Birthday
I know I owe you the world
and you deserve no less ..
But circumstances have unfurled
and I’m in, a financial mess.
So for your birthday party
I write for you, this ditty ..
My poetry skills are hearty
and cheap, but oh so witty!
Life is SHORT – EAT as much as you can. Happy Birthday
You know you’re getting old – When the candles cost MORE than the CAKE!
Inside every old person is a young person wondering “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED”.
Never lie about your age, except in the case of an emergency – like if somebody should ask how old you are.
Let’s celebrate your birthday
we’re young, for heaven’s sake ..
Perhaps too old for clubbing
but not too old for cake.
There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
The only two things we do with greater frequency, in middle age, are – URINATE
and ATTEND FUNERALS.
There are THREE signs of OLD AGE! 1. Loss of MEMORY – I’ve FORGOTTEN the other TWO. Happy Birthday!
Remember when we all used to be able to eat all the cake we wanted without
gaining weight? Here’s to the old days.
Birthdays are like boogers! The more you have, the harder it is to breathe.
At our age, it is abundantly clear why they call them the “WEE” HOURS of the MORNING. Hap-pee Birthday
Birthday Boy! You’re now reaching the age of the ‘MID-LIFE CRISIS’ when there are big decisions to be made! So what’s it to be? A Hair Transplant or a Harley Davidson?
I Just LOVE getting OLDER – Said NOBODY EVER. Happy Birthday
I’m banned from having birthdays
a new rule has been made ..
Signed, sealed and delivered
by the local Fire Brigade!
They say that all those candles
would create, such a blaze ..
They’d have to come and put it out
and stay around for days!
So, I guess I’ll have to party
without the birthday cake ..
Perhaps I’ll light one candle
just for old time’s sake.
Those firemen, so fit and strong
such handsome looking men ..
Whose birthday is it, anyway?
let’s light them all again!
You’re known and respected
for your love of thrift ..
And so, to honor this, I have
not got you a gift.
Some people would say that your BIRTHDAY is just another good EXCUSE to have a really good BOOZE UP with your mates. I’ll DRINK to that! Cheers!
May your birthday be filled with generic well-wishes on your Facebook wall, from people you barely know. Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday – And don’t you worry I won’t make any age-related jokes – I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
You’re too old for a new bike
too young, for a wheel chair ..
Too old, to hire a clown
too young, to no longer care –
– That, your friends are
all close to death, and
really, so are you ..
So enjoy one of your birthdays
your days are becoming few.
Well, who would have guessed a stinker like you would have grown up to be so nice! Happy Birthday
Age is just a number – BUT in your case – A very BIG NUMBER. Happy Birthday
It’s your birthday, yet again
I hope you have a ball ..
I know you won’t be shocked to hear
I’ve got you bugger all.
As you get older you gain knowledge, tolerance and serenity, then your teeth fall out. Happy Birthday
You’ve had so many birthdays
far too many, for me to mention ..
But there are still, one or two more
before you start your pension.
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there. Have a very Happy Birthday
With age comes wisdom – And you’re one of the wisest people I know. Happy Birthday