Funny Poems

There once was a time

for lack of common sense,

when I searched for a cure

for my Impotence.

I heard about cures

and thought I would see

if some of them

might do it for me.

Maybe some Rogaine

would cure bits that were bare

a new sexy look with a

great head of hair.

Then there’s Viagra,

the little blue pill.

If nothing else works,

they say that, this will.

All these promises

on ads and TV.

They’ll amp up sex drive,

just try ‘em, an see.

Bought all these pills for

sex drive and hair.

mixed them together

to see how they’d fair.

Drug interactions from the

induced selection,

grew hair like a dog

with a tent pole erection.

The hair-growing meds

grew thick and black.

An all over cover,

especially my back.

Viagra did amp up

my little friend,

But it somehow has now,

grown hair on the end.

My sex drive returned,

my outlook is great.

But due to the hair,

Now I can’t get a date.

Now I’m in a fix.

with my disease.

How do I know that my youth is spent?

Well, my get up and go is buckled and bent..

I laugh to myself and think what I’ve seen

If only you saw where my get up has been.

Hearing Aides, glasses, pills down my throat.

water in a glass, where my false teeth float.

As I’m fall to sleep I say to myself

what else is left, to put on the shelf?

When I was young I had nothing on loan,

My ears, my eyes and teeth were my own.

No pills to take, to keep my heart ticking,

just a fast pair of legs, for running and kicking.

Each day that I wake and know I’m ahead.

take a deep breath and know I’m not dead.

A Woman Is

A woman is strong opposition.

She’s afraid of a bee, will scream at a spider,

she’ll look possessed, like the devils insider her.

Sour as vinegar, sweet as a flower

She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn on her power.

At times she’ll be vengeful, happy, and sad,

She’ll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.