Funny Sayings Quotes
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Save Your Breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date!
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I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
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Don’t make excuses for nasty people. You can’t put a flower in an asshole and call it a vase.
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Wanted Meaningful, overnight relationship.
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500,000 battered women and I’m still eating mine plain.
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I can hold my own, but I’d rather hold yours.
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Instead of ‘Have a nice day’, I think I’ll start saying ‘Have the day you deserve’, you know let Karma sort that crap out.
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The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
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Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.
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Will work for food, Will beg for sex.
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Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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Boldly Going Nowhere, finding out where somewhere is.
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Money Isn’t Everything, but It Sure Keeps the Kids in Touch.
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Grow your own dope. Plant a man.
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All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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Some people are only alive because it is illegal to put them down.
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All men are idiots. I married their king.
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The more you complain the longer God makes you live.
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Hard work has a future payoff, Laziness pays off now.
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If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat
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Unless you’re the lead dog, the view doesn’t change.
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Help wanted telepathic, you know where to apply.
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I still miss my wife, but my aim is improving.
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A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
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Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
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Sometimes I wake up grumpy, Other times I let him sleep.
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What if the whole world let off gas at the same time?
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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
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Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
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Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.
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Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
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Fixing a broken heart is easy but keeping it together is what’s hard.
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Dreams are like rainbows, only idiots can chase them.
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What part of “No” don’t you understand
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Everyone has a photographic memory but some are missing the film.
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When all else fails manipulate it.
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Love thy neighbor, but hide it well.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
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Avenge Yourself – Be a problem to your children.
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I burnt a disk like you said, but it won’t play the music on it.
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If you were a dog, I would put you out of your misery.
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Women should never try to be equal to men, why would you want to stoop down to their level.
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