I Am A De-sexed Pussy Cat
(Funny Poems)
I am a de-sexed pussy cat,
they took me to the vet,
Because I got all horny,
but I never got one yet.
The female cats around me
just hissed and scratched my face,
And my owners got annoyed with me
when I hissed around the place.
So in humiliation
for they couldn’t face the truth,
I went and showed my discontent
by crying on the roof.
Well this got the neighbors going,
and in came all the calls,
When I heard the big one saying,
“That cat is going to loose his balls.”
We were waiting in the waiting room,
I was naive I must mention,
Though I did detect some guilty looks
and the air was full of tension.
And It must have been my cat instincts
that made me loose my cool,
For I felt a great urgency
to protect the family jewels.
So I escaped and I took off up the road,
Over a fence, across a yard,
and tucked up inside was my load.
The little one caught me, I cried and pleaded why?
As she handed me over to a man in a coat
who stuck a needle into my thigh.
When I came to,
in a dopey sleepy blur,
I felt cold, depressed sore,
I couldn’t even purr.
And when I think of all the injustices,
cats aint got no rights,
Not like you two legged humans,
that stay up and play up all night.
I was just a big fluffy kitten,
a randy teenage tom,
But now I’m just a neutered thing,
because both of my cods are gone.
So I hang out here on the hearth rug,
slowly going crackers
All because some capitalistic, self-righteous vet,
went and nicked my knackers.
By – Jacqueline H. Bridle