Funny Quotes And Sayings P7

• I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.

• Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

• The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

• I live in my own little world, but its okay they know me here.

• I don’t do drugs anymore ‘cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.

• How do I set my laser printer on stun?

• Love is like a butterfly you have to let it go and if it’s really meant to be it will come back to you!

• Before you get the best, you have to have the worst.

• If the teacher is way better than the one he teaches, he’s nothing but a failure.

• Love is a tag of war it can never be fair for sure one is the winner & of course other one is the loser.

• Many things upset my stomach but chicken is not one of them.

• Buy one dog, get one flea.

• Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

• Clear the Road I AM SIXTEEN.

• He Who Hesitates, Is Not Only Lost, But Miles from the Next Exit.

• I got this motor home for my wife, Best deal I ever made.

• I SWERVE to HIT People at Random!

• I wouldn’t laugh .. your daughter may be inside.

• Don’t follow me, I’m lost.

• Talk is Cheap - until you hire a lawyer.

• Everyday I beat my own record for number of days I’ve stayed alive.

• Two peanuts were walking down the street, when one was a-salted.

• How come we choose from just two people to run for president & 50 for Miss America?

• Is a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

• Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?

• The next time you feel like complaining about what you don’t have, remember, your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the worlds people.

• The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

• I love being married, It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

• Shopping tip, You can get shoes for 85c at the bowling alley.

• I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, & therefore I am perfect.

• A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.

• Cover me I’m changing lanes.

• He who laughs last thinks slowest.

• Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

• You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.

• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

• You’re Just Jealous Because the Voices are Talking to Me.

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