• Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.

• I Refuse To Have a Battle of Wits with an Unarmed Person such as yourself.

• The Earth Is Full .. Go Home

• Dogs think they’re human, Cats know they’re gods.

• Save the Dolphins, What did the cows do wrong?

• Your kid may be an honor student but you’re still an IDIOT!.

• I souports teh publik edekasion.

• If you think education is expensive, Try ignorance.

• Laugh alone & the world thinks you’re insane.

• Hey You! Out of the Gene Pool!

• Atheism is a non-profit organization.

• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

• Beer .. Helping ugly people have sex since 1769.

• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  

• Never get into an argument with the schizophrenic person & say, “Just who do you think you are?”

• When she told me I was average, I figured she was just being mean.

• STUPIDITY should be Painful.

• I could see the funny side, If It Weren’t Happening To Me.

• Cleverly Disguised As a Responsible Adult.

• Lord save me from your followers.

• Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
  

• The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name.

• I Haven’t Lost My Mind; It’s Backed up On Hardrive somewhere.

• I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

• Kill ‘em all. Let God sort it out.

• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

• Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

• I love my country, it’s the government that I don’t like.

• Don’t be stupid we have politicians for that.
  

• Nothing political is correct.

• Why drink and drive, when you can swim and drown.

• Make it idiot proof & someone will make a better idiot.

• Nothing is foolproof to the talented fool.

• If at first you do succeed, try to look like you are just warming up.

• Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

• Do you trust a government that doesn’t trust you with guns?

• The road to hell is paved with republicans.

• Empty the prisons .. Make room for congress.

• I.R.S. We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

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