An Angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth. Then whispered as she closed the book, too beautiful for earth.
An empty space where life once stirred
My eyes were not yet seeing ..
Where once my heartbeat shared a tone
with a small and fragile being.
So scarcely formed yet still a life
A dream, a hope, a promise ..
Our plans were changed to now include
This new life thrust upon us.
Then just as quickly as it came
Our dreams were gone away ..
The deepest pain I’ve ever felt
Our baby died today.
With footprints left upon our hearts
She gently took her leave ..
We’re left with nothing but regret
And only time to grieve.
There was no service to be held
No mourning time required ..
No songs of longing and despair
No words to be inspired.
We’re simply told to bare the pain
“It’s nature’s way” they say ..
I can’t forget our baby moved
inside me yesterday.
And with each word of sorrow
my teardrops fall like rain ..
The anger and resentment
are mixed with guilt and pain.
I look to heaven for a sign
to help search out a course ..
Where love can teach acceptance
and eliminate remorse.
My body will accept the truth
that now our baby’s gone ..
But in our hearts our Angel
everlastingly lives on!
Teri M. Stuckmann 1995
Hello I’m back but I’m merely a shell
Since I last saw you I’ve been through hell,
Now that I’m here please give me some space
Don’t talk behind my back but straight to my face.
Look into my eyes see the terrible pain
And remember someday you could feel the same,
Please be patient I need plenty of time
You see I’m still hurting and not at my prime.
My hands will shake and the tears will fall
I really don’t want to be here at all,
My heart is broken I’m cold right through
Please don’t leave me I need someone to talk to.
Don’t be embarrassed don’t shy away
It will be easier when we get passed today,
Don’t give me a job where I’ll be all alone
I need to be with people not a no go zone.
I’m terribly angry I just want to scream
If only this were just a bad dream,
I really can’t cope I’ll never get through
Please be kind and show me what to do.
Don’t tell me “life goes on” because mines at an end
Just give me a hug and say you’ll be my friend,
Don’t box me in corners and cause me more stress
Yes your right I didn’t iron my dress.
I don’t care how I look it’s enough that I’m here
Don’t tell me I’ve lost weight that’s quite clear,
I don’t need building up I don’t want a tonic pill
Don’t ask are you better I haven’t been ill.
I see no future don’t ask me to plan
It’s very hard knowing your son wont be a man,
Please be sincere your kindness not hollow
Then maybe I’ll have the strength to come back tomorrow.
Do you know of someone
whose precious child has died?
Perhaps she is a neighbor or friend
with whom you can confide.
You assume that she is suffering
a tragedy so deep ..
That there is nothing you can do
since all she does is weep.
You feel that if you see her
there is nothing you can say ..
That would make her precious
child come back
Or make the pain go away.
And if by chance you meet her
and have to face her grief ..
You’ll do your very best
to make this meeting brief.
You’ll talk about the weather
or the lady down the lane ..
But you’ll never mention her child
that would cause her too much pain!
And when the funeral is over
and all is said and done ..
You’ll go home to your family
and she’ll be all alone.
She’ll go on, she’ll be all right
time heals or so it seems ..
While she’s left alone to pick up the pieces
of her shattered life and dreams.
You can open up your heart
and find that special place ..
Where compassion and true giving
are awaiting your embrace.
‘Today I’m thinking of you
in a very special way,’ ..
Or, how about ‘I love you!.’
are some loving things to say.
Sometimes a very simple task
like picking up the phone ..
Can help her feel not-so-quite
Whatever comes from a genuine heart
can not be said in vain ..
For the truth is, it’s these very things
that lessen her great pain.
And when you let her talk about her child
who is now dead but in Heaven ..
You’ll know this is far greater
than anything you’ve said.
So will you reach out with all your soul
and let her know you care?
For in the end there’s no substitute
for simply BEING THERE!
– Debi L. Pettigrew