Funny Poems – Keep Cool

Keep Cool

(Funny Poems)

My life is like a kitchen fridge.

The analogy is frightening

How analyzing this white good

Gives insights so enlightening.

For when I was new and little used

I sparkled glistening white,

And when I was open wide to view

My bulb inside shone bright.

My contents stayed so fresh and crisp

I could instantly defrost.

My motor ran infrequently

To minimize my cost.

I gave the picture I was smart

And kept a tight schedule.

I was quick and efficient.

I kept my calm and cool.

Alas I am no longer new,

I’ve been well used and battered.

I have not been well maintained

As nothing really mattered.

My door seals leak. My bulb has blown.

My vegetables froze.

My freezer is so full of frost

Its door cannot be closed.

My motor runs incessantly,

Its longevity’s in doubt.

It rattles loud and shakes the floor.

It may soon burn right out.

I’m overloaded, overworked.

This chill I cannot keep.

If I do not change immediately

I’m to the garbage heap.

I need a defrost right away.

I hardly can recall

The feel of ice slabs falling off

To free my freezer walls.

I know it will invigorate

To warm my freezing core

And drip my drips with no control

To puddle on the floor.

Oh what a wonderful release

To make a mighty mess

And let the food warm up and rot

While feeling quite guiltless.

I’ll rid my shelves of all the food

And clean off all the mold.

I want to have a complete new start

And not be undersold.

I’ll get new seals to line my door

To make it fit right tight

And wear a long-life new bulb

So I’ll always shine out bright.

Before you let yourself frost up
And be the burnt out fool
Start your own defrost program
So you can keep your “cool”.
By – Dr John Parker