Funny Poems – For All The Girls

For All The Girls

When I was in my younger days,

I weighed a few pounds less.

I needn’t hold my tummy in

To wear a belted dress.

But now that I am older,

I’ve set my body free;

There’s comfort of elastic

Where once my waist would be.

Inventor of those high-heeled shoes

My feet have not forgiven;

I have to wear a nine now,

But used to wear a seven.

And how about those pantyhose-

They’re sized by weight, you see,

So how come when I put them on

The crotch is at my knees?

I need to wear these glasses

As the prints were getting smaller;

And it wasn’t very long ago

I know that I was taller.

Though my hair has turned to gray
And my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I’m the same old me,
Just the outsides changed a bit.