We all have that ONE SISTER
We all have that ONE SISTER
The Happy Dog’s Bedtime Prayer
(Funny Poems – Pet Poems – Dog Poems)
Now I lay me down to sleep,
The queen-size bed is soft and deep.
I sleep right in the center groove,
My human being can hardly move.
I’ve trapped her legs,
She’s tucked in tight,
And here is where
I pass the night.
No one disturbs me or dares intrude,
Til morning comes and I want food.
I sneak up slowly and it begins,
My nibbles on my human’s chin.
She wakes up slowly and smiles and shouts,
“You darling beast! Just cut it out!”
But morning’s here and its time to play,
I always seem to get my way.
So thank you Lord, for giving me,
This human person that I see
The one who holds me tight
And shares her bed with me at night!
I get up in the morning and greet it with a sigh,
Shuffle from the bedroom with hair and brain awry,
Totter to the bathroom with sorta knock-kneed gait
To beat an urgent urging, that does not want to wait.
Today I’ll write some verse I think
Pick up the pen and spread the ink.
The toaster in the kitchen, has features new galore,
It burns my bread, then pops it up and flings it on the floor.
The lurking ants are waiting as they do most every day,
Big and stout, they scuttle out and whisk my toast away.
If I have time I’ll write a rhyme
On ants that steal that toast of mine.
The dream I dreamt last night still rankles
My PJ’s slip down to my ankles,
I stoop to grab, and stub a toe
So say some naughty words I know.
The telephone begins to ring,
The toaster has another fling,
The ants are back, I’ll never eat,
I might as well go back and sleep.
I’ll close my eyes in sleep and sorrow,
And maybe write some verse tomorrow.
By – John Pickersgill
What It Was
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and gig was a job for the nights.
Now they all mean different things
and that really mega bites.
An application was for employment
a program was a TV show.
A curser used profanity.
A keyboard was a piano.
Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
and if you had a 3 inch floppy
you hoped nobody found out.
Compress was something you did to the garbage
not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
you’d be in jail for awhile.
Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back up happened to your commode.
Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue
a web was a spider’s home
and a virus was the flu.
I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
and the memory in my head
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
but when it happens, they’ll wish they were dead.
By – Author Unknown