The Happy Dog’s Bedtime Prayer – Funny Poems

The Happy Dog’s Bedtime Prayer
(Funny Poems – Pet Poems – Dog Poems)

Now I lay me down to sleep,
The queen-size bed is soft and deep.
I sleep right in the center groove,
My human being can hardly move.

I’ve trapped her legs,
She’s tucked in tight,
And here is where
I pass the night.

No one disturbs me or dares intrude,
Til morning comes and I want food.
I sneak up slowly and it begins,
My nibbles on my human’s chin.

She wakes up slowly and smiles and shouts,
“You darling beast! Just cut it out!”
But morning’s here and its time to play,
I always seem to get my way.

So thank you Lord, for giving me,
This human person that I see
The one who holds me tight
And shares her bed with me at night!

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Funny Poems – Antiquity Blues

Antiquity Blues

(Funny Poems)

I get up in the morning and greet it with a sigh,

Shuffle from the bedroom with hair and brain awry,

Totter to the bathroom with sorta knock-kneed gait

To beat an urgent urging, that does not want to wait.

Today I’ll write some verse I think

Pick up the pen and spread the ink.

The toaster in the kitchen, has features new galore,

It burns my bread, then pops it up and flings it on the floor.

The lurking ants are waiting as they do most every day,

Big and stout, they scuttle out and whisk my toast away.

If I have time I’ll write a rhyme

On ants that steal that toast of mine.

The dream I dreamt last night still rankles

My PJ’s slip down to my ankles,

I stoop to grab, and stub a toe

So say some naughty words I know.

The telephone begins to ring,

The toaster has another fling,

The ants are back, I’ll never eat,

I might as well go back and sleep.

I’ll close my eyes in sleep and sorrow,

And maybe write some verse tomorrow.

By – John Pickersgill

 

Funny Poems – What It Was

What It Was

(Funny Poems)

A computer was something on TV

from a science fiction show of note

A window was something you hated to clean

And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend

and gig was a job for the nights.

Now they all mean different things

and that really mega bites.

An application was for employment

a program was a TV show.

A curser used profanity.

A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age

A CD was a bank account

and if you had a 3 inch floppy

you hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage

not something you did to a file.

And if you unzipped anything in public

you’d be in jail for awhile.

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And a back up happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife.

Paste you did with glue

a web was a spider’s home

and a virus was the flu.

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper

and the memory in my head

I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash

but when it happens, they’ll wish they were dead.

By – Author Unknown