Funny Quotes P1

Funny Sayings Quotes  P1

  • Save Your Breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date!
  • I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
  • WANTED Meaningful, overnight relationship.
  • 500,000 battered women and I’m still eating mine plain.
  • I can hold my own, but I’d rather hold yours.
  • The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
  • Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.
  • Will work for food .. Will beg for sex.
  • Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  • Boldly Going Nowhere, finding out where somewhere is.
  • Money Isn’t Everything, but It Sure Keeps the Kids in Touch.
  • GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.
  • All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
  • Some people are only alive because it is illegal to put them down.
  • All men are idiots….I married their king.
  • The more you complain the longer God makes you live.
  • Hard work has a future payoff, Laziness pays off now.
  • If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat
  • Unless you’re the lead dog, the view doesn’t change.
  • Help wanted telepath .. you know where to apply.
  • I still miss my wife, but my aim is improving.
  • A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
  • Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
  • Sometimes I wake up grumpy, Other times I let him/her sleep.
  • What if the whole world let off gas at the same time?
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  • Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!
  • Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
  • Fixing a broken heart is easy but keeping it together is what’s hard.
  • Dreams are like rainbows, only idiots can chase them.
  • What part of “No” don’t you understand
  • Everyone has a photographic memory but some are missing the film.
  • When all else fails manipulate it.
  • Love thy neighbor, but hide it well.
  • On the other hand, you have different fingers.
  • Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
  • Avenge Yourself – Be a problem to your children.
  • I burnt a disk like you said, but it won’t play the music on it.
  • If you were a dog, I would put you out of your misery.
  • Women should never try to be equal to men, why would you want to stoop down to their level.

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