Funny Poems – The Piddlers Lament

The Piddlers Lament

(Funny Poems)

I’m piddl’n and paus’n and paus’n and piddl’n

and then I’m a-paus’n once more.

It’s three in the morn’n, I’ll be back before dawn’n

and I’ll walk that cold lavat’ry floor

It’s every two hours, these piddl’n wee showers

Get me up and roused out of my bed

First it’s one, then it’s three, then it’s five that I pee

I should be a-sleep’n instead

I’m there in the dark, at this ev’ry night lark

A-piddl’n and paus’n and curs’n

I can’t sleep hours eight, or even sleep late

Like a normally piddl’n person

Too late now I know, for long and smooth flow

When old prostate’s all swollen and knotty

‘twould be for the best if they cut out the pest

And I slept – ‘stead of piddl’n – int’ potty

Now doctor’s the man, to say if he can

“There are steps which right now can be taken”

And to make things work proper, he’ll plumb me with copper.

Then I’ll sleep the night through, ‘fore I’ll waken.

By – John Rogers