Funny Poems – Rod, the Lion-Hearted Kitten

Rod, the Lion-Hearted Kitten

(Funny Poems)

Young Rod was just a small red cat,

But no one ever told him that!

He thought himself ‘aristocrat’,

Of noble blood and birth…

A king of cats, a hunter great,

A warrior who could lie in wait,

Attack his prey, then celebrate

His cunning, matchless worth.

While strolling on a summer’s day,

Rod spied some brown squirrels, hard at play,

His hunter-heart was racing! “Hey!

A quarry worth my taking!”

He snuck up close and crouched down low,

A frozen statue, unseen foe,

His short red tail snapped to and fro,

His haunches started shaking!

An unsuspecting squirrel drew near,

A perfect prey that felt no fear,

The time was Now, the place was Here,

A victim worth pursuing…

With swiftest grace, Rod took his stance,

Leapt in the air, his one big chance,

Landed on squirrel, and then a dance

Incredible for viewing…

The squirrel pulled left and Rod pulled right,

The squirrel tap-danced, but Rod held tight,

Rod squeezed that squirrel with all his might,

But Rod was way too tiny…

The squirrel was bigger, by a bunch,

He threw Rod off, and Rod went crunch!

Flew in the air, and came down scrunch,

And landed on his hiney!

His ego bruised, his self-worth flat,

“How DARE that squirrel treat me like that!

He’s just a squirrel, while ‘I’m a CAT!’

Rod’s temper soon boiled over…

His brain was crazed, his mind was dim,

Rod jumped that squirrel and tackled him!

“I’ll tear that squirrel from limb-to-limb

And bury him in clover!”

The squirrel just turned and shrugged him off,

And laughing hard, began to cough,

The other squirrels began to scoff,

And poor Rod felt degraded…

He’d given everything he had,

He’d been put down, and put down bad,

Amazed that he could feel so sad,

His confidence had faded.

 And since that day, Rod stops to tell

Each single cat that bids him well,

The story of his squirrely Hell,

He soon extemporizes…

Now that he’s older, Rod has found

Himself to be of great renown,

Cats congregate from miles around,

To hear what Rod advises…

“The moral, friends ~ my lifetime theme:

Don’t hold Self in too high esteem,

‘Cause things aren’t always as they seem,

Don’t let Ego get to ya!

Don’t let your temper get too hot,

Know what you are and what you’re not,

Just give each day the best you’ve got,

And don’t let Pride undo ya!”

 So, next time that you see a cat,

However big or small or fat,

Just think of Rod and tip your hat,

Address it as an equal!

God bless you folks, for taking time

To read this silly feline rhyme,

‘Cause fifty dollars to a dime

There will not be a sequel!

By – Connie Hinnen Cook