Funny Poems – Pete, The Piddling Pup

Pete, The Piddling Pup

(Funny Poems)

A farmer’s dog came into town,

His Christian name was Pete.

A noble pedigree he had,

To see him was a treat.

And as he trotted down the street

‘Twas beautiful to see

His work on every corner,

His work on every tree.

 He watered every gateway, too,

And never missed a post,

For piddling was his specialty

And piddling was his boast.

The city curs looked on, amazed,

With deep and jealous rage

To see a simple country dog

The piddler of the age!

 Then all the dogs from everywhere

Were summoned with a yell

To sniff the country stranger o’er

And judge him by the smell.

Some thought that he a king might be,

Beneath his tail, a rose.

So every dog drew near to him

And sniffed him by the nose.

They smelled him over one by one,

They smelled him two by two;

But noble Pete, in high disdain,

Stood still till they were through.

Then, just to show the whole shebang

He didn’t give a damn

He trotted in a grocer’s shop

And piddled on a ham.

 He piddled in a mackerel keg.

He piddled on the floor,

And when the grocer kicked him out

He piddled through the door.

Behind him all the city dogs

Lined up with instinct true

To start a piddling carnival

And see the stranger through.

 They showed him every piddling post

They had in all the town,

And started in, with many a wink,

To pee the stranger down.

They sent for champion piddlers

Who were always on the go

And who sometimes gave a piddling stunt

Or gave a piddling show.

 They sprung these on him suddenly

When midway through the town.

Pete only smiled, and piddled off

The ablest, white or brown.

For he was with them, every trick,

With vigor and with vim.

A thousand piddles, more or less,

Were all the same to him.

 So he was wetting merrily

With hind leg kicking high

When most were hoisting legs in bluff

And piddling mighty dry.

On and on, Pete sought new grounds

By piles of scrap and rust

Till every city dog ran dry

And only piddled dust.

 Still on and on went noble Pete

As wet as any rill

When all the champion city dogs

Had come to a standstill.

Then Pete did free-hand piddling

With fancy flirts and flips

Like the ‘double dip’ and the ‘gimlet twist’

And all the latest hits.

 And all the time the country dog

Did never wink or grin

But blithely piddled out of town

As he had piddled in.

The city dogs a convention held

To ask, “What did defeat us?”

But no one ever put them wise

That Pete had diabetes!

By – Author Unknown