Funny Poems | I’m Fine, Thank You

I’m Fine, Thank You
(Funny Poems)

There is nothing the matter with me
I’m as healthy as I can be ..
I have arthritis in both my knees
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.

My pulse is weak, and my blood is thin
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in
Arch supports I have for my feet ..
Or I wouldn’t be able to be on the street.

Sleep is denied me night after night
But every morning I find I’m all right ..
My memory is failing, my head’s in a spin
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

The moral is this, as my tale I unfold
That for you and me who are growing old ..
It’s better to say “I’m fine” with a grin
Than to let folks know the shape we are in.

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my “get up and go” just got up and went ..
But I really don’t mind when I think with a grin
Of all the grand places my “get up” has been.

Old age is golden, I’ve heard it said
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed ..
With my ears in the drawer my teeth in a cup
My eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself
“Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?” ..
When I was young my slippers were red
I could kick my heels over my head.

When I was older my slippers were blue
But I still could dance the whole night through ..
Now I am old, my slippers are black
I walk to the store and puff my way back.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits
And pick up the paper and read the obits ..
If my name is still missing, I know I’m not dead
So I fix me some breakfast and go back to bed.

By – Author Unknown