Limericks P2




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Limericks P2

 

There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
After the ride
She was inside,
And the smile was on the face of the tiger.
 
 
There once was a dragon named Dey-Do
Who ate nothing but old dried out Play-Do
When he met an old man
With his head in a pan
He thought he had met a potato.
 
 
There was a guy named Willy
Who liked to eat chile,
One day he ate too much,
His stomach went grunch
and made his house a smelly.
 
 
There once was a lady names Linda,
Who sat all day by the winda.
Her thoughts set astray
By a nice Cabernet,
While her dinna turned into a cinda.
 
 
There once was a kitty named spike,
A daring and very bold tyke.
He took many chances,
Without consequences,
Until he got squashed by a bike.
 
 
Once in the rain I saw a man,
Strolling with an umbrella in hand.
When I said it was insane
To walk in the rain,
He said ” Well then, I’ll just stand”.
 
 
 
There was an old gent from Hyde
Who ate rotten apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside his inside.
 
 
 
There was a young man named Madill
Who rode an alligator for a thrill.
When they came back from the ride
Madill cried and cried.
All this time, his handy cam battery was nil.
 
 
There once was a man named Jim,
Who was so exceedingly slim,
That when he turned sideways
(Even without any hideaways)
You could see no sign of him !
 
 
There once was a guy named Matt
Who had an overly large cat
When it chased a mouse
It shook the whole house
So Matt got rid of the cat.
 
 
The thirsty man’s face became wry,
When the barman offered him rye.
“I’m a teetotaler” he said, as he sat,
“But I’m so thirsty, that”
“I could drink Canada Dry”.
 
 
Said young Clark Kent to his parent
“I’m late to school, its apparent”.
With speed so sublime,
That he went backward in time
he arrived, ere he had left his parent!
 
 
Linda Blair with great favor confessed,
She’d been exorcised, thus finding rest,
But alack and alas
Her old demon came back
and now the poor girl’s repossessed.
 
 
Once there was a teacher
Who really liked the bleacher
So she stayed day and night
Holding it tight:
Her truly beloved bleacher
 
 
There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the ass by a man.
 
 
There was a young man from Peru.
Who wanted to live in a shoe.
A size six was too small.
So he walked down the mall,
And found a size twelve with a view.
 
 
The was an old man of the isles
Who suffered severely from pisles
He couldn’t sit down
Without a deep frown
So he had to row standing for misles
 
 
There was a black dog named Rosie
Who tried to bite someone’s toesies
She took a huge bite
Then ran out of sight
And left the poor guy with nine toesies
 
 
There once was a lady named Perkins
Who simply doted on Gherkins
They were so nice
She ate too much spice
and pickled her internal workin’s
 
 
There once was a sculptor named Phideous
Whose sculptures by most were thought hideous
He carved Aphrodite
Without even a nightie
Which shocked all the fussy fastidious
 
 
There once was a boy named Lee,
Who always threw rocks at a tree.
One day when it shivered,
Lee shaked and quivered
When out shot hundreds of bees!
 
 
There once was a old man from Norway
who cussed as he sat in a doorway
the door smacked him flat
and he yelled “what was that”?
that disgruntled old man from Norway!
 
 
There lived a young cow in MA
He always had his own say
On the grass he would chew
Saying merrily moo moo
He often even ate hay
 
 
There was a young man who said, God
Must think it exceedingly odd
If he finds that this tree
Continues to be
When there’s no one about in the Quad.
 
 
Tis a favorite project of mine,
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3,
For it’s simpler, you see,
Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9

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