Funny Quotes P7

Funny Quotes And Sayings P7

Funny Quotes And Sayings 1

  • I don’t approve of political jokes…I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
  • Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
  • If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  • The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
  • I live in my own little world, but its okay they know me here.
  • I don’t do drugs anymore ‘cause I find I get the same effect just standing up really fast.
  • How do I set my laser printer on stun?
  • Love is like a butterfly you have to let it go and if it’s really meant to be it will come back to you!
  • Before you get the best, you have to have the worst.
  • If the teacher is way better than the one he teaches, he’s nothing but a failure.
  • Love is a tag of war it can never be fair for sure one is the winner & of course other one is the loser.
  • Many things upset my stomach but chicken is not one of them.
  • Buy one dog, get one flea.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
  • Clear the Road I AM SIXTEEN.
  • He Who Hesitates, Is Not Only Lost, But Miles from the Next Exit.
  • I got this motor home for my wife, Best deal I ever made.
  • I SWERVE to HIT People at Random!
  • I wouldn’t laugh .. your daughter may be inside.
  • Don’t follow me, I’m lost.
  • Talk is Cheap – until you hire a lawyer.
  • Everyday I beat my own record for number of days I’ve stayed alive.
  • Two peanuts were walking down the street, when one was a-salted.
  • How come we choose from just two people to run for president & 50 for Miss America?
  • Is a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
  • Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
  • The next time you feel like complaining about what you don’t have, remember, your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the worlds people.
  • The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
  • I love being married, It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
  • Shopping tip, You can get shoes for 85c at the bowling alley.
  • I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, & therefore I am perfect.
  • A crowded elevator smells different to a midget.
  • Cover me I’m changing lanes.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest.
  • Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
  • You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool.
  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
  • You’re Just Jealous Because the Voices are Talking to Me.

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