Sms-Messages P6
Umh, that's a nice set of legs, what
time do they open?
Darling, I'm new in this town - dya
think I could have
directions to your house.
I hope you know CPR, cos you take my
breath away!
I've got the ship, you've got the
harbour ...
what say we tie up for the night?
Have a nice day. . . somewhere else.
Guilt -- the gift that keeps on giving
What did the
bartender say to the jumper cables when
they walked into the bar?
Ok u 2, don't
start anything.
Am I getting smart
with you? ....How would you know?
The secret to success
is knowing who to blame for your failures.
There are no personal
problems which cannot be solved
through suitable application of high
explosives.
Exceptions always outnumber rules.
All stressed out and
no one to choke.
If I want your
opinion, I'll give it to you.
Right now I'm having
amnesia and deja vu at the same time -
I think I've forgotten this before.
If practice makes
perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
The best way to a
man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
It was an accident
officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a
hunting knife. And he ran into
me. Backwards. 17 times.
Constipated people
don't give a crap.
I may not be perfect,
but I'm all I got.
Where there's a will,
I want to be in it.
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The first half of our
lives is ruined by our parents,
and the second half by our children.
Y did the jelly baby
go 2 school? Cuz he wanted to be a smarty.
What u call dog with
no legs? Don't matter wot u call him,
he ain't gonna come.
Bride's Dad hands a
note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another
note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'
All computers wait at
the same speed.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
FRIEND SEARCH: Friend
detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still
searching....still searching
......sorry, no friends found.
Girls are like
phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll
be disconnected!
HELP: Cops are after
a suspect who's smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?
How come night falls
but day breaks?
How do I set the laser printer to stun?
Conserve toilet
paper, use both sides.
I get enough exercise just pushing my
luck!
Sorry, I don't date outside my
species.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness
pays off NOW!
Q: How can you tell
when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp
on it.
A husband was asked:
Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Always remember you're unique, just like
everyone else.
Is it time for your
medication or mine?
Gorgeous,
intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough
about ME!
How are you?
Hard work has a
future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
How do u occupy an
idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...!
***NEWSFLASH*** Tell
ALL your female friends that
I can get 100 tampons for free
...
No Strings attached...but for a limited period ONLY!...
A bloody good deal!
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