Funny-Quotations P4
Save Your Breath.
You’ll need it to blow up your date!
I need someone really
bad...Are you really bad?
WANTED Meaningful,
overnight relationship.
500,000 battered
women and I’m still
eating mine plain.
I can hold my
own But I’d rather hold yours.
The sex was so good
that even the
neighbours had a cigarette.
Sex on television
can’t hurt you unless you fall off.
Will work for food -
Will beg for sex.
Who lit the fuse on
your tampon?
Contraceptives should
be used on every
conceivable occasion.
Boldly Going Nowhere,
finding out
where Somewhere is.
Money Isn’t
Everything, but It Sure Keeps
the Kids in Touch.
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE,
PLANT A MAN.
All Men Are Animals,
Some Just Make Better Pets.
Some people are only
alive because it is
illegal to put them down.
All men are
idiots....I married their king.
The more you complain
the longer
God makes you live.
Hard work has a
future payoff,
Laziness pays off now.
If we aren’t supposed
to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?
Unless you’re the
lead dog, the view doesn’t change.
Help wanted telepath:
you know where to apply.
I still miss my wife,
but my aim is improving.
A woman without a man
is like a fish
without a bicycle.
Women who seek to be
equal to men lack ambition.
Sometimes I wake up
grumpy, Other
times I let him/her sleep.
Help! I farted and
can’t roll down my windows!
What if the whole
world FARTED at the same time?
Beauty is in the eye
of the beer holder.
I don’t have a license
to kill, I have a
learner’s permit.
Taxation WITH
representation isn’t so hot, either!
Madness takes its
toll. Please have exact change.
Fixing a broken heart
is easy but keeping it
together is what’s hard.
You can rip my heart
open in search for love,
but all you will find, is the same darkness that
is in
your own.
Dreams are like
rainbows, only
idiots can chase them.
What part of “No”
don’t you understand?
Everyone has a photographic
memory
but some are missing the film.
When all else fails
manipulate it.
A day without
sunshine is like, night.
Love thy neighbour,
but hide it well.
On the other hand,
you have different fingers.
Back up my hard
drive? How do I put it in reverse?
Avenge Yourself - Be
a problem to your children.
I burnt a disk like
you said, but it won't
play the music on it.
If you were a
dog, I would put you
out of your misery.
Women should never
try to be equal to men, why would you want to stoop down to their level.
