No animal ever
invented anything so bad as drunkenness
- or so good as drink.
~ Lord Chesterton
The secret of
drunkenness is that it insulates us in thought, whilst it unites us in feeling.
~ Ralph Waldo
Emerson.
Drunkenness is not a
mere matter of intoxicating liquors; it goes deeper, far deeper. Drunkenness is
the failure of a man to control his thoughts.
~ David Grayson
Wine makes a man
better pleased with himself; I do not say
that it makes him more pleasing to
others.
~ Samuel Johnson
I drink to make other
people more interesting
~ George Jean Nathan
Drunkenness is
temporary suicide; the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary
cessation of unhappiness
~ Bertrand Russell
An alcoholic is
someone who you do not like who
drinks as much as you.
~ Dylan Thomas
Drink moderately, for
drunkenness neither keeps a secret,
nor observes a promise.
~ Miguel De Cervantes
I drink when I have
occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.
~ Miguel De Cervantes
I have taken more
good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.
~ Winston Churchill
A woman drove me to
drink and I never had the courtesy to thank her.
~ W C Fields
Reminds me of my
safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several
days we had nothing to live on but food and water.
~ W C Fields
Wouldn't it be
terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which
prove that more people are
driven insane through
religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol?
~ W C Fields
There is a devil in
every berry of the grape.
~ The Koran
There's nothing
romantic, nothing grand, nothing heroic,
nothing brave, nothing like that about
drinking.
It's a real coward's death.
~ Warren Zevon
I must have a drink
by eleven, it's a deed that must be done. If I can't have a drink by eleven, I
must have eleven by one.
~ Unknown Author
I'm not under the
alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
~ Unknown Author
One of the penalties
of being president of the United States
is that you must subsist for four years without
drinking anything except
Californian wine.
~ A J P Taylor
I hate to advocate
drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,
but they've always worked for
me.
~ Hunter S. Thompson
Live each season as
it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink,
taste the fruit, and resign
yourself to the influences of each.
~ Henry David Thoreau
I was daily
intoxicated, yet no man could call me intemperate.
~ Henry David Thoreau
A man may acquire a
taste for wine or brandy, and so
lose his love for water, but should we not
pity him.
~ Henry David Thoreau
There are people who
strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable
which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for
health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying
out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
~ Mark Twain
Who needs friends
when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
~ Unknown Author
Alcohol preserves
everything except secrets.
~ Unknown Author
It's just the drunker
I sit here the longer I get.
~ Unknown Author
Give a man a fish and
he'll eat for a day. Teach a man
to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer
all day.
~ Unknown Author
Prohibition makes you
want to cry in your beer,
and denies you the beer to cry into.
~ Don Marquis
Better sleep with a
sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.
~ Herman Melville
If I give up
drinking, smoking, and fatty foods, I can add ten
years to my life. Trouble is,
I'll add it to the wrong end.
~ P.J. O'Rourke
Drunkenness does not
create vice; it merely brings it into view.
~ Seneca
Drunkenness is
nothing but voluntary madness.
~ Seneca
A drunkard is like a
whiskey-bottle, all neck and belly and no head.
~ Unknown Author
With wine comes
truth.
~ Unknown Author
When there are a lot
of drunk people about to drive home, drive as fast as you can. It is a lot
harder for drunk people to hit you that way.
~ Unknown Author
Cider, I will not
sip, It shall not pass my lip, Because it has made drunkards by the score. The
Apples I will eat, But cider, hard or sweet, I will not touch, or taste, or
handle more.
~ A Child's Vow
If I had to choose
between putting a saloon or a liberal church on a corner, I'd choose the saloon
every time. People who drink up the pay check in the saloon are less likely to
become Pharisees, thinking that they don't need the Great Physician, than those
who weekly swill the soporific doctrine of man's goodness.
~ Jay Adams
The first draught
serveth for health, the second for pleasure, the third for shame, and the
fourth for madness.
~ Anacharsis
He is not drunk, who
from the floor
Can rise again and
drink some more;
But he is drunk who
prostrate lies,
And cannot drink, and
cannot rise.
~ Unknown Author
Drunk is feeling
sophisticated when you can't say it.
~ Unknown Author
Sorrow can be
alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.
~ Thomas Aquinas
Quickly, bring me a
beaker of wine, so that I may
wet my mind and say something clever.
~ Aristophanes
One reason why I
don't drink is because I wish to
know when I am having a good time.
~ Nancy Astor
Electricity is
actually made up of extremely tiny particles
called electrons, that you cannot
see with the
naked eye unless you have been drinking.
~ Dave Barry,
Drinking makes such
fools of people, and people are such
fools to begin with, that its compounding
a felony.
~ Robert Benchley
Abstainer: a weak
person who yields to the
temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
~ Ambrose Bierce
Brandy: n. A cordial
composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody
murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose,
a headful all the time. Brandy is said by Dr, Johnson to be the drink of
heroes.
Only a hero will venture to drink it.
~ Ambrose Bierce
Rum: n. Generically,
fiery liquors that produce
madness in total abstainers
~ Ambrose Bierce
Alcohol is like love:
the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After
that you just take the girl's clothes off.
~ Raymond Chandler,
The Long Goodbye (1953)
Sir, if you were my
husband, I would poison your drink.
~ Lady Astor to
Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my
wife, I would drink it.
~ Winston Churchill
to Mary Astor
I must point out that
my rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also
the drinking of alcohol before, after, and if need be during all meals and in
the intervals between them.
~ Winston Churchill
Art is wine and
experience is the brandy we distill from it.
~ Robertson Davies
If once a man
indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and
from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to
incivility and procrastination.
~ Thomas De Quincey
Then trust me,
there's nothing like drinking
So pleasant on this
side of the grave;
It keeps the unhappy from thinking,
And makes e'en the
valiant more brave.
~ Chas. Didbin
(1745-1814).
A good writer is not
necessarily a good book critic. No more
so than a good drunk is automatically a
good bartender.
~ Jim Bishop
The problem with the
world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
~ Humphrey Bogart
The intermediate
stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
~ Norman Brenner
If the headache would
only precede the intoxication,
alcoholism would be a virtue.
~ Samuel Butler
The Americans are a
funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm; then they put some ice in it
to keep it cool; they put some sugar in it to make it sweet; and then they put
a slice of lemon in it to make it sour. Then they say here's to you and drink
it themselves.
~ B. N. Chakravaty
The horse and mule
live thirty years
And never know of
wine and beers.
The goat and sheep at
twenty die
Without a taste of
scotch or rye.
The cow drinks water
by the ton
And at eighteen is
mostly done.
The dog at fifteen
cashes in
Without the aid of
rum or gin.
The modest, sober,
bone-dry hen
Lays eggs for noggs
and dies at ten.
But sinful, ginful,
rum-soaked men
Survive three-score
years and ten.
And some of us,
though mighty few
Stay pickled 'til
we're ninety-two.
~ Charles Duffy
Wine is as good as
life to a man, if it be drunk moderately.
What is life then to a man who is
without wine?
For it was made to make men glad.
~ Ecclesiaticus
A meal without wine
is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can
still get drunk.
~ Lee Entrekin
The man that isn't
jolly after drinking is just a drivelling idiot,
to my thinking.
~ Euripides
It's a shame that the
only thing a man can do for eight hours a
day is work. He can't eat for eight
hours; he can't drink
for eight hours; he can't make love for eight hours. The
only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
~ William Faulkner
Always carry a flagon
of whiskey in case of snakebite,
and, furthermore, always carry a small snake.
~ W. C. Fields
I exercise extreme
self-control. I never drink anything
stronger than gin before breakfast.
~ W C Fields
What contemptible
scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
~ W.C.Fields
My illness is due to
my doctor's insistence that I drink milk;
a whitish fluid they force down
helpless babies.
~ W. C. Fields
A well made Martini
or Gibson, correctly chilled and nicely served, has been more often my true
friend than any two-legged creature.
~ M.F.K. Fisher
(attributed)
Drink to-day, and
drown all sorrow;
You shall perhaps not
do it to-morrow.
~ John Fletcher
(1576-1625)
If you resolve to
give up smoking, drinking and loving,
you don't actually live longer; it just
seems longer.
~ Clement Freud
I distrust a man who
says 'when.' If he's got to be careful not to drink too much, it's because he's
not to be trusted when he does.
~ From 'The Maltese
Falcon' by Sidney Greenstreet
Always do sober what
you said you'd do drunk.
That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
~ Ernest Hemingway
An intelligent man is
sometimes forced to be drunk
to spend time with his fools.
~ Ernest Hemingway
Strong drink
stupefies a man and makes it possible for him to forget; it gives him an
artificial cheeriness, an artificial excitement; and the pleasure of this state
is increased by the low level of civilization and the narrow empty life to
which these men are confined.
~ Alexander Herzen
Wine sets even a
thoughtful man to singing, or sets him into softly laughing, sets him to
dancing. Sometimes it tosses out a word
that was better unspoken.
~ From 'The Odyssey
(Homer)
I prefer to think
that God is not dead, just drunk.
~ John Huston
There's no absolutes
in life - only vodka.
~ Mick Jaggar
