Funny-Quotes P1
Believe it or not!
The latest survey shows that 3 out
of 4 people make up 75% of the world's
population.
You can't have
everything.
Where would you put it?
The things that come
to those who wait, may be
the things left by those who got there first.
A fine is a tax for
doing wrong. A tax is a
fine for doing well.
It was recently
discovered that research
causes cancer in rats.
I wished the buck did
stop here, because I
certainly could use a few more.
You have the right to
remain silent. Anything
you say will not be understood,
and then used against
you.
I feel like I'm
diagonally parked in a
parallel universe.
Nothing is
foolproof to a talented fool.
It is hard to
understand how a cemetery raised
its burial cost & blamed it on
the cost of
living.
The 50-50-90 rule:
Anytime you have a 50-50
chance of getting something right, there's
a 90%
probability you'll get it wrong.
Despite the cost
of living, have you noticed
how it remains so popular?
It is said that if
you line up all the cars in the
world end to end, there would always
be one
fool trying to pass them.
I started out with
nothing, spent a little but
I still have most of it.
Light travels
faster than sound. This is why
some people appear bright until
you hear them
speak.
Before deciding to
borrow money from
a friend, always decide which you need
more. The friend or
the money!
Annoy your enemy & forgive them.
Don't ever try to
beat a liar; they will beat
you with experience.
On the other hand you
have fingers too.
Where there's a will,
relatives come out
of the woodwork.
Alcohol is not an answer;
it just makes you
forget the question.
I miss you so
much but my aim is
getting much better.
Pushing your luck is
better than getting
no exercise at all.
Experience is the
thing you get just after you fall.
Man was given a sense
of humor to compensate
for nature's law of gravity.
If procrastination
were earned money, I
would be very rich.
I ain't
sleeping. I'm just taking a good look
at the insides of my eyes.
Always borrow money
from a pessimist.
They don't ever expect is back.
My wife was fitted
with a coil. For about 18
months I hated it! She used to pick
up better radio
stations.
I like work. It
fascinates me. I could sit &
look at it for hours on end.
If you can't see the
bright side of life, then
get to shining up the dull side.
We all have a
photographic memory. Yours is
just missing the memory card.
A day without
sunshine is like, well, night
time of course.
Change is the
inevitable outcome
except from a broken vending machine.
He who laughs last
thinks slowest.
| 
